My Life's Studying Table

ok now, just read it.
i made it at 5th of November last year. yeah, it's about a year and 14 days since i met him.
him? yeah, I have to introduce him to you, he was my lovely boyfriend. Really, i love him. gue sayang sama dia, dengan semua kekurangannya. just call him 'A', why 'A'? because he was the first man in my life that made me feels so sad. never had like this before. and if i could call him with one, i would do that.
gue gak tau tentang apa yg gue tulis di blog ini, he said that blog was for a famous or super smart person who have some experiences or knowledges that they have to share with on their blog. but, sadly, I'm not that kind of person. so, i have no idea about what i'll write in here, especially right now.
pada akhirnya gue bakal curhat juga, dengan segala kegundahan gue, dan sok-sokan bahasa inggris gue yg seadanya, yeah--here I am.
he left me, or more specifically, i lost him. yeah, lost him because my own words. my own thoughts. i decided to leave him because oh my God my parents didn't like him, i mean, his age, and his band, or something that young people do. my parents want me to get the older man, older! and i don't know why, i can't feel comfortable with the older person. i can't be myself. and then, i thought, yeah maybe my parents were right about the older, because this mr. A was acting like a really boy, i mean a young boy. is it a must to hurt his own head when i grab his cell phone and hit the table with his hand when he mad at me? and when i was with him, i felt like his love was around me when i was with him, and when he went to his boarding house, the love gone with him, not with me anymore. It's all because, he could give me no report about himself, and how about texting me? they were just about 5-10 a day or less. was he phoning me? yes, he did. but rather. well, he said this all because he left his cellphone's charger at home or lost it and he couldn't charge his cell phone so he couldn't give me the reports. can you imagine it? hey, he could borrow his friend's cell phone, told me that he left his cell phone's charge, so he couldn't give me some reports for a couple days and make sure that he would try to give me reports with anything (like maybe borrow his friend's cell phone again). but, he wasn't do that! and if he didn't have any credits on his cell phone, he said, "sorry, i will fill it when i'm home, because my parents will buy it for me." CRAP! what was that? parents? didn't he has some money? he could just buy the credit and later he might be can ask his parents to return the money back to him. My Gosh!
but still, i love him. even when i got some problems that i couldn't resolve myself, and he acted like he mad at me because i made no words for him when i met him, he even didn't ask me about what was happening with me and why i became such an idiot with just silent and i was staring at the tv and then silent again. why? but really, i still love him.
i couldn't bear those things anymore so i decided to break up with him at 25th of September, and now? he really stay away from me. and i feel like he is so far away from me. i lost him. but God, i still love him. is it the blind love? i don't know, really! now, i am thinking to not having a boyfriend for this time. because i still love him and i am very sad about it and i still can't forget him, and i think i'll busy with with my assignments, with my lovely family. yeah, i think this is me right now. this is it.
oh, hmm sorry if my English bad. hehe thanks anyway blog. i still don't know what to do on my blog, this is what i got. and if someday he open my blog and find this, i hope he can be a better man and i hope he can forgive me, and know that i love him. hahaha

Jumat, 19 November 2010

this is what I made

Minggu, 17 Oktober 2010

my first step